The Many Husbands of Me...

Why so many husbands?
When you travel India with a male friend or companion, it's always best to tell the locals that you are husband and wife because they just don't understand how a man and a woman can share a room and be “just friends”. Over the last six months, a number of husbands have come and gone from my life. Here's an intro to just a few of those who have had the courage to put up with me over long periods of time:

Wayne: Remember Motorcycle India? Wayne's the John Wayne of the Indian highway, the cool dude with the long hair and the Royal Enfield. He's the one with the determined spirit and quest for truth in life. He also talks a lot. We covered about 2000 km together from Goa down to Tirruvananmalai in Tamil Nadu. That's a lot of talking. Wayne is very objective about things, scientific about spirituality and says he couldn't bring himself to bow in front of the giant Buddha in Thailand. He believes in logic and science and it annoys the shit outta me sometimes. He's also very frugal and counts every rupee. Has a good sense of humor but the ability to drain you with his energy for talking, talking, talking. Yet one of the best things about Wayne was that he was aware and would occasionally wake up me up mid-conversation to ask me, "are you drifting away again Anu?" - and I'd tell him that he was sapping - but he took it like a soldier. He also made me aware of a few things myself, such as my short temper and ability to lose rag with Indians. He's a super-patient, chilled out, good natured, solid guy, not to mention the best motorcyclist that I have met(well, the only one really, but I can't imagine many people handling the roads as well as he did). We had a super-cool motorcycle adventure with lots of laughs. I put up with his crusty hippy ways and stinky feet and he put up with me. We lasted about six weeks until it was time to go our separate ways: I took off for Goa, followed by Rajasthan, and he delved deeper into the south to Kodai Kanal...

Josep: I rode on the back of Wayne's bike to Hampi and met Josep, only to discover that I had suddenly accumulated two husbands at the same time. Josep became my partner in crime for the next two months. We hit Anantapur to check out the Vicente Ferrer Foundation and were joined by my third husband Joachim. Josep speaks little English and finds my Spanish highly comical and entertaining, but I too ripped the piss out of him: “Is possible mushroom soup, but don't garlic and don't onion!!!! Hokay?” and “One cock please.” and “I saw,I saw” (meaning, it's the same, it's the same). Josep's a legend and bags of fun to travel with. He had total respect for me and knew when to leave me alone by giving me my space. He was also very patient ands tolerated me when I'd take an eternity to get ready, get out of bed or leave the room to go out. I felt like a princess with my breakfast joint and coffee every other morning.

Josep has been working as a journalist in Catalan for the last 35 year and had the sudden inclination to leave his two ex wives and four kids behind for about five months to find space for himself for a change in life. As a result he's the happiest he's ever been. He sees joke in everything. He told me Vicente Ferrer, the founder of the NGO that we went to visit, was dead. Well, that was my interpretation of the rapid Spanish he spoke to me on the phone at the time anyway. I send an email of condolence to the wife of the deceased only to discover the deceased is not deceased. Need I say more…?

Me and Josep spent most of our time laughing. He saw epic dimensions in everything we experienced. His interpretation, vision, translation and analysis of everything was spot on and hilarious at the same time. He's my tio perverto, my dirty old uncle, my tio sucio with his dry sense of humour and ability to laugh until the tears are literally streaming down his face. He takes everything in his stride and we danced, drank, smoked and partied - mainly to Frank Zappa and the Doors. Vodka, gin, rum and beer; spliffs and cigarettes, we had a laugh. We made a music video in Manali and if you see it when I email it to you, you'll know just what I mean... lol :-)

Joachim: Yes, it's gotta be said, that Joachim is a bit of a hottie, and guess what? He thinks he knows it too! At the same time he's very sweet and introspective and takes it like a man when I take the piss out of his macho exterior. Our connection was magnetic, probably because we both have ability to charm the other while remaining cheeky and sarcastic at the same time. He thinks he can have his cake and eat it, but I think I've managed to stick a mirror to his face and made him realise a few things about himself. Joachim is an ex-boxer and creative carpenter from Norway. He was inspired to join me and Josep on our next adventure. Despite out flirtatious connection, I stayed well clear of falling for his charming ways, yet at the same time, I also found it fun to humor him! From Hampi to Anantapur and then on to Bangalore, linking again in Rajasthan and traveling to Delhi – that was the breadth of the journey we traveled together. He's a Libra and I'm a Saggitarious, so true to the nature of our star signs, it was a case of “should we shouldn't we” - which made for great entertainment. But did we or didn't we...? What I can say is that we had lots of stomach-clenching laughs, plenty of reflective conversations, and an experience of India, that together with Wayne and Josep, we won't ever forget. He's certainly found a friend in me.

Francisco: Josep left me in Rishikesh as he was heading back down to Rajasthan for a few days before getting on the choo-choo down to Mumbai to catch flight back to Spain. I was sad and tearful to see him go, but it was time to move on and I know that we will link again in the not-too-distant future. So my new husband comes in the form of Francisco, an Argentinean lawyer and football player from Buenas Aires. A gentleman in the truest sense of the word, I am nothing less than a princess for Francisco. Me and Josep hung out with him for about 10 days in Dharamasala and he joined us on the trip to Rishikesh. So I guess it's just the two of us - and he makes a fine speciman of a husband indeed. Sometimes he's my adopted brother, rescued from the slums by my parents and given a home. But most of the time, he's my husband. Our lawyer-journalist status gets us places, especially across the Nepalese border when it was still closed. Traveling with Francisco for a few weeks made me realise a lot of things about myself. He stuck a mirror to my face and helped me become more aware of the things that I try not to face about myself. For example, the fact that I can be a nasty bitch at times, ability to lose temper and my lack of patience. He's a real angel, a gentle soul and sees the best in people. Francisco brings me coffee in bed and will go out and buy the food for midnight snacks. He also tried to help me get my camera back, confronting the evil junkie, Karma, in Dharamasala. Francisco is a sweetie that's probably a lot more clued up than I ever was at his age. He's a great travel companion and we get along just fine!